Months after a devastating miscarriage during the second trimester of her pregnancy, Chrissy Teigen now says she may “never” be pregnant again.
In an Instagram post on Wednesday, Teigen shared a photo of her post-partum body, revealing a bump where her now-deceased son used to lay.
“This is me and my body, just yesterday. Even though I’m no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been. And I have no idea why I still have this bump, honestly. It’s frustrating,” she wrote.
“But I’m proud of where this entire journey took my body and mind in other ways. I love being pregnant, so so much, and I’m sad I never will be again,” she added. “But I am lucky to have two amazing little ones who are transforming into big little people more and more every single day.”
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In early October, Teigen announced the loss of her son by posting a photo of herself shortly after she had learned the shocking news.
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” Teigen started the post. “We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
“We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital,” she explained. “But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.”
Teigen addressed the child directly, saying she and John Legend will always love him.
“I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you,” she said.
Teigen remained off social media for several months after the dramatic moment, later revealing she had fallen into a “grief depression hole.”
“I’m not tweeting much because I’m honestly in a bit of a grief depression hole but do not worry as I have so much help around me to get better and I’ll be fixed soon,” she wrote in a tweet. “They’ll call when im better and ready for pickup and u can swing by and grab me ok? thank u and love you!”
In an essay for Medium, Teigen described the moment she learned her son would not make it.
“After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye,” she said. “He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”
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