The following is satirical.
Joe Biden is having a problem with gaffes. The verbal errors have plagued the former Vice President’s career ever since he was just an idiot, but now that he’s also a doddering old man, they are beginning to become a genuine burden to him, though a source of never-ending hilarity to the rest of us.
Last week, Biden explained to a group of voters that “poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.” Biden quickly clarified the remark, saying it was just a gaffe that accidentally revealed his underlying disdain for African Americans. He then explained the clarification, saying it was just a gaffe because it accidentally revealed what the first gaffe accidentally revealed when he had meant to disguise what the first gaffe accidentally revealed with the second gaffe which he had intended not as a gaffe but as a cover-up. Biden then clarified the explanation of the clarification saying that it was a gaffe because he hadn’t meant to reveal that it was a cover-up but had instead meant to cover that up.
At another rally, Biden said that Democrats “choose truth over facts.” Biden later clarified that gaffe by saying he had meant to say Democrats choose narrative over facts but had become confused because Democrats think truth and narrative are the same thing. He then said this clarification was a gaffe because he had no idea what he meant to say, which he said was also a gaffe because he hadn’t meant to admit that he had no idea but had meant to say that we should choose truth over black people because black people are all poor.
Later, at a rally in Iowa, Biden was approached by a diminutive female student who challenged him on gender politics. Biden replied, “Don’t play games with me, kid,” and grabbed the girl by the arm. Biden said this was a gaffe because he had meant to punch her repeatedly in the face.