I have been open about how I used to be more Left-leaning, which I think tends to be somewhat common in your youth. When you’re young, you don’t have a firm grasp on how the world works, and the Left is really great at selling their ideas. One that took hold of me in my liberal past was the concept of modern love. I finally woke up to the fact that “modern love” is a lie. In reality, no one is happy in this type of relationship.
The New York Times publishes a weekly column titled Modern Love, written by readers who share their “modern love” stories about how they are bucking traditional love — because they’re doing love differently. A few recent headlines include My Spectacular Betrayal, Deeply in Love With a Polyamorous Woman, and Kissing a Fellow Janitor Amid the Trash. You get the idea. They are all written as glamorized aspirational tales with happy endings. The implied message is that modern love is freeing: “Why have the natural traditional marriage when you can have something that is different!” But what these articles are actually promoting is narcissism: “I can live my life as I want to! I should be able to give into my every impulse.” Yet readers never get an update as to how this modern love worked out. How does that work out in the long run?
Bill de Blasio and Chirlane McCray’s marriage answers that question. Bill de Blasio was a one-time presidential contender no one took seriously, and before that, he was busy ruining New York City as the mayor. McCray and de Blasio are a biracial couple, a factor he constantly put in everyone’s face and one that obviously helped him become mayor — because his policies certainly did not. But what’s more interesting is that McCray is a lesbian — was a lesbian. Is a lesbian. Is, was, who knows? But it did not matter to de Blasio. He married her anyway.
So how did that work out? Well, according to a New York Times piece about them, they’re splitting. But they are not getting divorced. After all, the only way to build on your modern love failure is to add yet another layer of modern love to it. Now you can apparently split, continue living together without getting divorced, and date other people. That is what they are doing. And the article glamorizes not only their relationship but their split too.
What this article should have done is addressed how strange this dynamic is. It should have delved deeper into why they are not leaving their home and will continue living together. And it certainly should have mentioned their children — the children who will come home with the full understanding that their parents are living together while also seeing other people. Their daughter was arrested at a BLM protest in 2020, so perhaps they could have explained if they think part of the reason she seems to be suffering is an effect of their unhealthy, modern love relationship.
No one should aspire to this kind of relationship. So-called modern love is the reason so many women and men are unhappy in their relationships — yet then cannot come up with reasons as to why their relationships are failing. They don’t understand because they don’t even know what it means to come together in a marriage. Marriages are not meant to be experimental. Partners are to be chosen carefully and vows are to be taken seriously. These kinds of arrangements do not work out. So maybe this is a cue to take into serious consideration what conservatives support, what Christians support, and why marriage should not be taken outside of the church in the first place.