The openly Christian "Bachelorette" star Hannah Brown, who became the subject of controversy among the faithful over her views on pre-marital sex, says she is now "struggling" with her newfound fame in the wake of the season finale, which ended rather shockingly when she called off her engagement to contestant Jed Wyatt after learning he had a girlfriend just days before he came onto the show.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Brown lamented in a lengthy Instagram post about how Christians called her faith into question after she rejected a Christian man over his views on premarital sex and then rejected another man with whom she had sex four times.
"Honest policy: I'm struggling. Life is so different. Since last August, I've been a pageant queen, a bachelor contestant, and the Bachelorette," her post began. "I've been in love with multiple people, I got engaged, I broke off an engagement, and I shared it all with millions of people."
Though Brown has been labeled "promiscuous" by some while having her "faith questioned by thousands of people who do not know [her] heart," she rejoiced in now becoming a "role model" for young women.
"My faith has been questioned by thousands who don't know my heart, and my transparency with my decisions has labeled me promiscuous," she said. "Simultaneously, I've become a role model for young women and started bigger conversations around faith, and sex. I'm living on my own for the first time and shuffling through this life of next steps with press, media, and opportunities galore."
According to Brown, the media pressure has made it difficult to maintain close relationships with her family and friends, noting that she has changed dramatically in the course of one year.
"The woman who has emerged would shock the mirror-image young girl from a year ago. I have so many blessings to be thankful for," she said. "However it's uncharted territory for me, and it's been hard to really process what the heck is going on Maybe I needed write this out to remind myself I'm human and it's okay to be overwhelmed. And maybe, I just needed to remind you guys too. Life is beautiful but wild. I think it's okay to be strong — to know you're strong — but to still feel weak simultaneously. I believe that's when the magic happens."
Her post concluded with a reference to Isaiah 54:10, which cites God's compassion on people. "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you," reads the passage.
Though the season finale ended with Hannah Brown and runner-up Tyler Cameron agreeing to go on a date, reports indicate that they are just remaining friends for the time being.
"I cherish Hannah and value her and our friendship so much, but I don't think it's healthy for us to jump into anything right away," Cameron told PEOPLE after the finale. "I think we need to be friends and see where life takes us. Whatever happens, happens."
"Tyler will always have a place in my heart no matter what our relationship looks like," Brown told the outlet. "The feelings I developed for him were real and they don't shut off instantly. And it's hard to say [yet] what the future holds with him, or anyone else."