On Thursday’s episode of “The Andrew Klavan Show,” Klavan slams the Left for using “offense” as a weapon against those who disagree with them. Video and partial transcript below:
Maybe I should pause here a moment to talk about that. Because these are humorless times. Our friends on the Left have made sure of that. It’s a technique they use: in order to silence the voices of patriotism and freedom, wannabe socialist tyrants pretend to take our jokes seriously, or take our comments out of context, or seize on clumsy misstatements and go on the rampage, trying to ruin our reputations or get us banned from left-sympathizing corporate news and social media outlets.
Because they have no arguments in favor of their dreamed-of oppression, they want to make sure our arguments for freedom can’t be heard.
The idea is to make us nervous about what we say … and it works. Even my friends and those who sign my checks frequently and understandably break into a sweat when I start kidding around because they don’t want to lose sponsors and they don’t want to get tarred for what I said when the outrage mob comes after me.
So, let me explain myself. I make jokes about things you’re not supposed to make jokes about BECAUSE you’re not supposed to make jokes about them. It’s my polite and gentle way of saying: "Bite me, leftists. I’ll say anything I damn well please because I am a free American and a man. Plus, I’m a Christian so if you annoy me, I will put a curse on you, and you’ll burst into flames. That’s in the Bible."
I will not even go so far as to make the lefty-required kowtow about how much I really respect women or that my best friend is a black homosexual or whatever. Screw it. If you listen to this show, you know my heart about my fellow humanoids. It’s not people I’m attacking, it’s bad ideas.
And here’s the thing, my left-wing friends: your ideas stink. Your woke identity politics is racism. Your feminism is a form of intellectual sexual abuse. Your economics is a recipe for economic and cultural disaster. And so, when I, your intellectual and moral superior, slap you in the face as you deserve, you will smile and say thanks or go to hell – either one is fine by me.
Now what message could be more inoffensive and unobjectionable than that?
So, for the past two days, I’ve been talking about this grim Epstein case, and it’s been pretty depressing. So today, I’m going to inject some comic relief into my life and yours by talking about the fact that the Democratic Party is coming apart at the seams. As it should. Because it’s a cesspit of socialism and tyranny. And while I’m talking about that, it may be that I start to rant about the toxic feminism that has caused a lot of second-rate brainless dames to think they’re entitled to our respect and attention simply because they have skirts on.
And it’s possible some women here or there may find those comments objectionable. So again, let me explain, “shut up.” And while you’re up, could you bring me a beer?