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Men Just Received The Best Scientific Advice in History

The Sun’s Andrea Downey has lightened the hearts of millions of men around the planet with her prescription for increasing their life expectancy: stare at boobs.

That’s only one of the six ways men can boost their life expectancy, according to Downey, who makes a compelling argument. Here are the six ways:

1. Stare at boobs.

Downey points out, “Staring at boobs creates a positive mindset in men … A 2012 study, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, looked at the effects positive thinking had on men’s health. After a year, positive thinking had a powerful effect on health choices.”

Downey notes that over half of the men who had coronary heart disease but thought positively upped their exercise, as opposed to 37% who did not think positively; similar results were found among men with high blood pressure.

So far, so good.

2. Have lots of sex.

Downey quoted a study in the BMJ finding sex could cut men’s mortality rate in half. She notes succinctly, “In the study, life expectancy increased by three to eight years in the group who reported more orgasms.”

This is good.

3. Get married.

Downey writes, “A survey of more than 127,000 Americans found men who got married after they were 25 were likely to live longer than those who married young.”

Also, the chances of #2 and #1 increase radically.

4. Have kids.

Downey cites a study that reinforces the notion that men who marry and have kids have longer lives than those who don’t. She writes, “A study in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health found that when parents reached age 60, men with kids saw their life expectancy go up two years while women increased by 1.5 years.”

Although #4 can interfere with #2 and #1, when there’s a will, there’s a way.

5. Be responsible

Downey notes a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in which elderly people in nursing homes who received a plant displayed improved socialization, alertness and general function. She notes appropriately, “Perhaps that is why having kids is good for you.”

6. Get a "dad bod"

So gaining a little weight is okay; Downey writes, “A book called ‘How Men Age’ argues that tubby men are less likely to suffer a heart attack or prostate cancer and are more likely to invest their time in their children.”

Three cheers for science.

 
 
 

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