As the American Left openly embraces socialism, Venezuelans are literally slaughtering zoo animals in a desperate attempt to fend off starvation.
Vermont Senator and open "Democratic Socialist" (read: socialist) Bernie Sanders has steered clear from this damning reality, dodging questions about the hellscape that is currently Venezuela — excluding those who are in power, of course.
But Sanders is in luck! There's a new talking point to add to his incoherent economic babble: the highly effective socialism diet. While many of those considered poor here in evil capitalistic America are fatter than feminist Lindy West, socialism in Venezuela has caused the average citizen to lose about 24 pounds, according to an annual academic survey released Wednesday.
Take that, Jenny Craig.
"Venezuelans reported losing on average 11 kilograms (24 lbs) in body weight last year and almost 90% now live in poverty, according to a new university study on the impact of a devastating economic crisis and food shortages," reports Reuters.
The survey tragically revealed that 60% of those questioned claimed they had woken up hungry and without money to buy food during the last three months, and about one in four Venezuelans were found to eat two or less meals a day, notes Reuters.
Conditions appear to be worse for Venezuelan citizens than they were in 2016, when the average person lost about 8.6 pounds due to the economic conditions.
"Income is being pulverized," said Maria Ponce, one of the study's investigators. "This disparity between the rise in prices and the population's salaries is so generalized that there is practically not a single Venezuelan who is not poor."
"Prices in Venezuela rose 4,068% in the 12 months to the end of January, according to estimates by the country's opposition-led National Assembly, broadly in line with independent economists' figures," notes Reuters.
Of course, the Venezuelan government has refused to release data on poverty in the country since early 2015.
But, as any good Starbucks-drinking, iPhone-using millennial socialist will tell you, the Venezuelans just didn't implement socialism "the right way."