The man who donned that iconic 70-pound purple Tyrannosaurus Rex costume for so many years of your youth now has unprotected tantric sex for money with women he meets on Tinder.
David Joyner, who played "Barney the Dinosaur" on PBS' hit show "Barney & Friends" from 1991-2001, now runs a tantric sex business, a thought that will surely destroy the memory of your childhood.
In a profile by Vice, we learn that Mr. Joyner fancies himself a "tantra massage specialist" and a "spiritual healer" who charges his clients — whom he refers to as "goddesses" — $350 for a full three-four hour session, which may or may not include unprotected sex, since condoms "block the energy."
“When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create,” the 54-year-old tells Vice. “Even through G-spot massage, it’s still not the same energy that flows.”
Joyner started his, uh, "practice" in 2014 and currently has 30 clients, typically "unblocking the energy" of two to four women on a given week.
"For clients, this 'higher and more blissful state of awareness' is often best achieved through penetrative, ideally unprotected sex, according to Joyner," reports Vice. "Condoms 'block the energy,' he says, and he prefers not to use them. Joyner provides his STD test results to prospective clients, who are asked to disclose any STDs in a signed consent form prior to their first session. These methods, according to other tantra coaches, are highly unorthodox."
Defending his "unorthodox" approach on tantric healing, Joyner says penetration is about an "exchange" of energy and goes beyond just the physical.
“Once the lingam is inside the yoni, there’s a technique where you don’t even move. You’re harmonizing spiritually and consciously, as you’re looking into each other’s eyes, and you’re feeling each other’s energy take place. This is about energy moving up," he explained. “A lot of women have never really had spiritual sex.”
Barney also gave some insight into performing oral sex on a woman, which we've all been dying to hear.
“When you go down on a woman (orally), it should be just like you’re saying grace, like blessing the food you’re about to receive," Joyner said. "No food in the world can compare to goddess nectar because spirit is involved. Before you taste the goddess nectar, give thanks. Say grace. I would love women to understand how powerful that energy is."
And where does he meet his "goddesses"? By the classic "word of mouth" approach or none other than the hook-up application known as Tinder.
You might be thinking, "Gee, this sounds a lot like prostitution." And you'd be right.
But, as he told Vice, Joyner found a "legal loophole":
In the state of California, massage with the intent of causing arousal is considered solicitation. To protect himself, Joyner says he had a police officer friend help him write a contract that he has all potential clients sign during the consultation process stating they’re not law enforcement or part of a sting operation. He says that the first session is free, and, without money exchanged, the session is legal consent. This, he contends, is his legal loophole.
And just to pile-on the creep factor, Joyner said he channeled what he learned from tantric practices into his character as Barney.
“The energy I brought up [while] in the costume is based on the foundation of tantra, which is love,” he said. “Everything stems, grows, and evolves from love. Even when you have emotionally blocked energy, the best way to remove it is to remove it with love, and then replace it with God’s divine love. Love heals and allows you to continue to grow.”
“Before I got into the [Barney] costume, I would pray and ask God to allow his loving divine spirit to flow through me through the costume and let that draw the kids. That energy would always draw them in,” Joyner continued. “Children are more connected spiritually than [adults]. A lot of times when I see infants and I’m out and about at the grocery store or whatever, they start staring at me. I make the joke, ‘You know who I am.’”
Not creepy at all.