On Thursday, Bette Midler, who uses so much hair spray she has personally engendered global warming, was panicked in New York as the temperature rose to a balmy 62 degrees in the middle of winter.
Only days before, Midler noted with panic:
Midler has been on her global warming crusade for years; in December 2015 she tweeted, “Dec. 22, 2015, 63 degrees in NYC. I would like to thank the ignorant selfish climate deniers for all their goodwill toward the planet.”
Yet she may be confused; check this out from the year before, when it snowed down South:
Perhaps it’s the blustery Wind Beneath the beating Wings of her limited brain capacity, or her renowned perception with which she can spot imminent problems From a Distance, but Midler certainly merits The Rose for her performance as the world’s leading purveyor of nonsense.
Certainly the problems of global warming weigh on Midler like a Beast of Burden, but she would likely claim that the unusual climes of New York would be “All I Need To Know” that men had, through their fecklessnes(s), malevolence and greed, destroyed the earth, as evidenced by the warm wafting breezes she is experiencing whistling through her ears.
Man-hating and global-warming fear-mongering. What song should she be singing now?