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In the golden age of early 2000s sitcoms, “Malcolm in the Middle” stood out like a middle finger in polite society. It was because of its messy, working-class, irreverent humor that it did so well with audiences.

Hal and Lois, the show’s chaotic married couple, were not enlightened parents dispensing wisdom to their well-behaved children. They were exhausted, flawed people barely clinging on in a house of four feral boys: Malcolm, Reese, Dewey, and Francis.

The show didn’t take itself too seriously. It mocked political correctness, it questioned both politeness and authority. It showed that actions do, in fact, have consequences. And, importantly, it bucked the idea that anyone — child, adult, or otherwise — deserved kid-glove treatment.

Everyone and everything was fair game. In “Malcolm in the Middle,” there were no sacred cows.

And yet, watching Hulu’s 2026 “Malcolm in the Middle” reboot, you’d never know this was once the case. Unfortunately, like other failed Disney shows that have come before, the new “Malcolm in the Middle” is a Trojan horse for contemporary progressive ideology.

In the first episode of the four-episode revival, it managed to shoehorn in both gay and transgender characters. The most notable being Malcolm’s youngest sister, Kelly, a sullen teenager who happens to be “non-binary” and uses “they/them” pronouns.

Kelly’s inclusion was inspired by the show’s creator and his wife’s own family, where they proudly claim to have “three queer kids,” believing this is a feature of a normal American family. They couldn’t be more wrong, of course.

But, the tragedy of this development is twofold. First, Kelly is not a character. She is evidently a vehicle used by the writers to virtue signal and lecture audiences. But, more importantly, in the original series, Lois continually fantasized about having a daughter after having (eventually) five sons.

Turning the long-awaited daughter into a pronoun lesson truly flattens her existence into propaganda. And there is something truly grotesque about taking a main character’s greatest wish and turning it into a malformed 2026 talking point.

One whole episode in the OG show is dedicated to Lois imagining her life with girls instead of her unruly boys. In the end, she realizes she loves her sons, and girls would just be a different flavor of chaos. But, her desire persists.

And it is this dynamic that makes Lois’s final pregnancy in the 2006 finale of the show so exciting. It is her last chance to have a girl. And as viewers, we are left to ponder how this pregnancy turned out — if Lois was gifted yet another little boy or if she was finally given her dream of a little girl.

Well, we get that answer in the reboot. And it comes in the form of teenage Kelly, who inevitably delivers a sombre speech during the reboot’s final episode, where she describes feeling “wrong” since she was a child. In a bizarre turn of events, the response from her family is more or less one of acceptance. This simply isn’t “Malcolm in the Middle.”

The non-binary sibling isn’t comic relief or a catalyst for family dysfunction like it would have been in the original show. This character is simply a vehicle for representation, complete with Hal awkwardly practicing pronouns and the family acknowledging the revelation with solemn nods.

Lois, the same woman who once quite literally wrestled her sons into submission, apparently accepts “they/them” pronouns, rather than dragging her child back to reality? Where’s the screaming? The grounding? The classic Lois line that cuts through the bull?

The original “Malcolm in the Middle” thrived on mockery. It took shots at everything: the education system, corporate drones, life in middle America, even its own characters’ flaws. People retroactively view the show as progressive because it wasn’t “homophobic,” but it never treated sexuality or identity as sacred ground either.

It constantly poked fun at both ends of the spectrum, mocking pretension wherever it appeared, like Malcolm’s intellectual superiority and posturing, while simultaneously poking fun at dysfunction, such as Hal’s midlife crises or Lois’s ego.

It would have absolutely taken great delight in poking fun at an absurd social contagion such as “non-binary” identity.

“Malcolm in the Middle” wasn’t really a show for learning a tidy lesson because real life in that household was too chaotic and messy for after-school preaching.

And all of this is one of the biggest reasons why Disney’s reboot factory leaves so much to be desired. Frankensteining a franchise is a tenet of modern media. But in reanimating the corpses of beloved 2000s intellectual property always results in the same disappointing, lifeless snoozefest, complete with 2026 moralizing.

These corpses could never compete with the originals because they fundamentally lack the ability to laugh at themselves that marked so much of early 2000s entertainment. Today, instead of telling realistic stories, shows must tick boxes when it comes to diversity, sexuality, and representation.

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Sydney Watson (@SydneyLWatson) is a YouTuber and political commentator.

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Disney Turns Beloved Sitcom Into A Lecture Nobody Asked For