Opinion

As Summer Ends, Journalists Look Forward to New Season Of Hysterical Lying [Satire]

   DailyWire.com
US President Donald Trump (L) and US First Lady Melania Trump walk toward Air Force One in Bordeaux, south-west France on August 26, 2019, after attending the annual G7 Summit in Biarritz. (Photo by Nicholas Kamm / AFP)
Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images

The following is satirical.

Well, summer is drawing to a close and, here in California, the leaves are turning from green to still green as Autumn comes sweeping in bringing with it the same temperatures as always.

But in the news business, everything is changing as journalists say goodbye to months of becoming hysterical about Donald Trump for no apparent reason and look forward to becoming hysterical about Donald Trump for apparent reasons that are actually no reasons at all.

Over the summer, of course, reporters covered such important stories as a recession that might be coming but didn’t but would be Donald Trump’s fault if it did, a war that might be starting but wouldn’t but would be Donald Trump’s fault if it would, a scandal that might be uncovered but wasn’t but would have been Donald Trump’s fault if it was, and a storm that might be forming but hasn’t but will be Donald Trump’s fault when it has.

Another big summer story was that time Trump said something completely true but used an unfortunate choice of words which revealed him to be worse than Hitler would have been if Hitler had stooped so low as to use that choice of words. There was also that tweet that Trump sent out that was clearly a joke but if it had been serious would have revealed that the president was unfit for office. And there were the reports from anonymous sources that the president said something absolutely outrageous that will quickly fade from memory as no one bothers to either confirm or correct the report.

As the winds of September come blowing into Washington bringing in flotsam and jetsam and politicians or possibly more flotsam, it’s hard to tell, we can look forward to important new stories like Adam Schiff pretending he has evidence he doesn’t have, Jerry Nadler starting an investigation into some damn thing, and Nancy Pelosi talking like a crazy lady you sat next to once on a bus. All of which will provide apparent reasons to become hysterical about Donald Trump for no apparent reason. Happy Labor Day.

Got a tip worth investigating?

Your information could be the missing piece to an important story. Submit your tip today and make a difference.

Submit Tip
Download Daily Wire Plus

Don't miss anything

Download our App

Stay up-to-date on the latest
news, podcasts, and more.

Download on the app storeGet it on Google Play
The Daily Wire   >  Read   >  As Summer Ends, Journalists Look Forward to New Season Of Hysterical Lying [Satire]