News and Commentary

SAY IT AIN’T SO: Chris Pratt Made $2 Million More Than Bryce Dallas Howard On ‘Jurassic World 2’

Actor Chris Pratt better find one of those old Cold War bunkers to hide from the nuclear fallout that is the revelation that he received exactly $2 million more than his female co-star Bryce Dallas Howard for filming “Jurassic World 2”; the feminists are coming for him.

Indeed, one of the hottest actors working in Hollywood right now, the star of two major franchises, a heartthrob, and one of the few movie stars smart enough not to spoil his goodwill with leftist diatribes, received more money than actress Bryce Dallas Howard.

Here’s how IndieWire described the scandal:

“Jurassic World” was a box office force of nature in 2015. The Colin Trevorrow-directed tentpole made over $1.6 billion at the worldwide box office, becoming the second-highest grossing film of the year after “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” The title remains one of the biggest releases of the decade. Despite the film’s massive box office earnings, co-leads Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard did not receive equal pay on the sequel, “Fallen Kingdom.”

Just despicable. Now I know what some of you are thinking: If Chris Pratt doesn’t return for a sequel, audiences might not show up; if Bryce Dallas Howard doesn’t return, the makers would just replace her with another love interest. Any Hollywood agent worth their salt would negotiate a better deal for Chris Pratt based on that alone.

You all have been bamboozled by the Patriarchy. It was sexism, I tell you! Sexism is what allowed this horrible injustice against the daughter of one of Hollywood’s most powerful directors. Don’t you see: Chris Pratt was able to work his way up to becoming a major star in an action franchise because of the privilege of his XY chromosomes, whereas Bryce Dallas Howard needed the help of a patriarchal figure.

“The actors both earned big bonuses for the second installment,” continued IndieWire. “Pratt ended up with a $10 million payday, two million more than Howard’s $8 million salary.”

Can you not see the oppression at work here? Bryce Dallas Howard earned $8 million while Chris Pratt laughed his testosterone-fueled face to the bank with a sack full of $10 million. Both salaries are enough to buy a house in the Hollywood Hills, but just imagine how many more inches larger Chris Pratt’s house will be due to that extra $2 million. Imagine how many more gallons of water that will fit into his gargantuan Jacuzzi. Imagine the feet added to his stretched driveway and how many more guests will be able to park their cars on it when he hosts them for a barbeque.

Just think of that one extra step added to his marble staircase.

One small step above Bryce Dallas Howard is one giant leap feminism will have to make in the fight to topple the Patriarchy.