The Miami Marlins are poised to have a new owner: former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush.
Yes, the former presidential candidate famously dubbed by Donald Trump as “low energy” purchased the baseball franchise, heading an ownership group that includes former baseball icon Derek Jeter. The team was bought for $1.3 billion after the group placed the winning bid at the auction.
It is believed that Bush will “be the control person” of the Marlins’ new ownership group, following in the footsteps of his brother, George W. Bush, who at one point was the managing general partner of the Texas Rangers.
The move is not a done deal yet, as Major League Baseball still needs to approve of the sale and the ownership group is still “hundreds of millions” dollars short of reaching the $1.3 billion price tag. There are some ways to work around that shortfall: (H/T: SB Nation)
One sees Jeter and Bush failing to secure the necessary financing in their bid to become the public face and control person, respectively, for the Marlins, and their bid is rejected by MLB. Another future sees MLB slobbering all over itself to get Famous People into its ownership group and attention paid to the league and the Marlins, and so it sells the team to Jeter and Bush along with a whole lot of debt that they then need to pay it off. MLB will allow Team Please Clap for RE2PECT up to $350 million in debt, which means they need to come up with about $1 billion among themselves and investors.
While that might sound ridiculous, when the Padres needed to sell due to a divorce last decade, MLB agent Jeff Moorad stepped in with a whole lot of money he didn’t have, and MLB approved that sale. The move crippled the Padres’ finances, as Moorad had money to pay off his debt for buying the team but not to invest in the roster itself. It got to the point where fans were overjoyed when the payroll finally climbed back over $50 million: For some context, the Rays had a $63 million payroll the same season.
Last, and maybe — hopefully — the most likely, is that Jeter and Bush are considered legitimate enough faces for the Marlins that investors line up now that a deal has been pre-approved.
Of course, that hasn’t stopped the obvious jokes from people on Twitter about “Please clap” and creating Marlins logos that featured the infamous exclamation mark from the Jeb! campaign logo. Christine Rousselle has a good compilation of them at Townhall, but the best one she highlighted was:
National Review‘s Jim Geraghty also poked fun at Bush in his daily Morning Jolt:
Under Jeb’s ownership, the Florida Marlins right fielder will play in right but not too far on the right, not too far from centerfield. He will attempt to persuade umpires that any high inside pitches that come close to hitting the batter do not represent an improper crossing of a boundary, but instead “an act of love.”
Not everyone targeted their jokes at Bush, however:
However, new ownership is certainly not a laughing matter to Marlins fans, who have suffered under Jeffrey Loria since he took over the reins of the franchise in 2002. After the Marlins stunned the world with their 2003 World Series title, they haven’t made it back to playoffs after Loria’s penny-pinching forced the team to relinquish their talent, keeping them mired in mediocrity ever since. Loria mercifully decided to sell the team believing that “getting his estate in order was prudent at this stage of his life at 76; sadness over the death over Jose Fernandez, unhappiness with years of being criticized by fans and prolonged losing since winning a World Series in 2003, among other factors,” according to CBS Sports.
Now it remains to be seen if the Bush-Jeter ownership group can lead the Marlins back to the promised land or if they will resort to begging the fans to “please clap.”