The following is satirical.
A major cat fight has broken out between Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and the four young congresswomen who have been trying to turn the Democrat Party into a bunch of screechy Communists instead of just Communists. By cat fight, of course, I mean the kind of fight where women claw and hiss at one another and pull each other’s hair as they roll around preferably in a tub of mud on the barroom stage between sets of country music. And if that’s not what’s really happening … well, I can dream, can’t I?
Anyway, the fight ramped up to a new level when Pelosi hinted to the New York Times, a former newspaper, that congresswomen like Alexandria Occasional Cortex and Rashida “Jew-Hater” Tlaib were in no way as powerful as their Twitter following made them think they are.
Referring to the so-called “Squad,” which includes Cortex, Jew-Hater, the other Jew Hater and some girl I’ve never heard of, Pelosi told the Times—and this is a real quote: “All these people have their public whatever and their Twitter world, But they didn’t have any following. They’re four people, and that’s how many votes they got.”
As Republican congressmen ran up and down the capitol halls shouting, “Girl Fight!” and then gathered in the rotunda to try to convince the women to put on wet t-shirts, Occasional Cortex struck back by saying, “Maybe Pelosi thinks she’s a big shot because she can get legislation passed, but I can send out a Tweet to five million non-voting malcontents, and if that’s not real power, I don’t know what is.”
Presidential Spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway referred to the exchange as “A major meow moment.” Whereupon AOC hissed at her and tried to scratch out her eyes, leading Kellyanne to pull her hair and wrestle with her on the floor while Republicans poured buckets of water on them.
Like I said, I can dream.