The following is satirical.
Democrat congressman Wile E. Coyote has announced a new plan to impeach the president. According to Congressman Coyote, the plan arrived yesterday from the Acme Impeachment Company, and this one, he says, is guaranteed to work, unlike the last twenty impeachment plans which, the congressman admits, could be said to have backfired, leaving his face blackened and his smoking hair standing on end.
As the congressman told CNN Reporter Porky Acosta, “I know I said the same thing about Russian collusion, and when that ended up doing nothing more than exposing the corrupt Obama officials who cynically misused the nation’s intelligence resources for the most partisan political purposes, I felt as if I was looking down to find I had run off the edge of a cliff and that I then plunged suddenly through endless nothingness until my body disappeared from view, and there was nothing left of me but the small puff of dust that represented my smashing into the earth at terminal velocity while the president escaped my clutches yet again.”
“And yes, it’s also true, that the Stormy Daniels controversy ended in embarrassment when the lawyer we had lifted up as a hero was indicted for corruption, and James Comey’s firing turned out to be nothing but the fair and legal removal of a sanctimonious power-mad loon and in fact every time we’ve tried to drop some scandal on this president, it winds up plummeting down on my own head while I try uselessly to protect myself with nothing but a parasol.”
“But believe you me, there is no possible way this Acme Ukraine Scandal could end up exposing the corruption of Joe Biden in abusing the power of the vice presidency to protect his son from prosecution because that would be as if I had planted a bomb that didn’t go off and when I went to check it, it suddenly blew up in my face.”
The president responded to the congressman’s statement with a tweet saying only, “Meep meep.”
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