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Bill Nye: ‘I Am A Failure’

By  Amanda Prestigiacomo

Speaking with Salon’s Jeremy Binckes, Bill Nye, the Not A Scientist Guy admitted he’s a failure when it comes to his Global Warming evangelization.

Citing the Trump Administration’s Scott Pruitt at the head of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the “well-funded” fossil fuel industry, Nye confessed he’s losing the fight.

“The United States has now got the head of the EPA who wants to close the EPA,” he said in disbelief.

The fossil fuel industry has “worked so hard to introduce doubt,” continued Nye, using noticeably religious language.

“We’ve done virtually nothing [climate change] all this time,” he lamented.

The former kids’ show host exclaimed: “I am a failure!”

Sure, Nye is a failure in the sense that he was unsuccessful in converting the masses to believe in the one true Global Warming God, but, on the upside, he’s also made some spectacularly awful media in the meantime.

For example, on his widely panned Netflix show, Nye, with the help of actress Rachel Bloom, explained to the world how sexuality is “on a spectrum,” boasting some super impressive, highbrow lyrics:

My vagina has its own voice

Not vocal cords, a metaphorical voice

Sometimes I do a voice for my vagina

Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who does that

‘Cause my sex junk is so oh, oh, oh

Much more than either or, or, or

Power bottom or power top

Versatile love may have some butt stuff

So. Much. Science.

And because Hollywood is also awful, the My Sex Junk dance number earned an Emmy nod.

The not-so-sciencey-science-guy went on to urge everybody to vote for devout politicians who follow Climate Change doctrine.

“What I tell everybody is vote,” he said. “We don’t want everybody to be a scientist; that would be unwieldy.”

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