At first, I thought the justified killing of a gorilla in order to save the life of three-year-old child was a black and white issue; let’s all give thanks that the child survived; the end. But then—thank goodness—genius celebrities set me straight: the life of a gorilla is much more important than the life of a child.

On Saturday, a three-year-old boy fell into a moat at the Cincinnati Zoo and was dragged by a 450-pound silverback gorilla. Because the child was in "imminent danger," per the zoo, the gorilla was shot and killed. A tranquilizer wasn’t used because of fear that it would take too long to kick in, leaving the child at risk of further injury or death.

“The child was being dragged around,” explained zoo director Than Maynard. “His head was banging on concrete. This was not a gentle thing. The child was at risk…So when it was determined that the child was being injured…we had to make a decision.”

Enter: The Left.

Outrage over the killed gorilla ensued: Ever-important hashtags were deployed, petitions were started for “Justice for Harambe” (the name of the gorilla), and God-awful celebrities weighed in.

Actor John Fugelsang suggested that the gorilla should have been left alone and the parents shot instead. Of course, the three-year-old would have likely died, too, in this scenario, but at least the gorilla would have been saved.

“If I ever let my toddler fall into a gorilla enclosure please leave the gorilla alone and just shoot me.”

Former American Idol star Katherine McPhee condemned the zoo for killing the gorilla—an act which saved a three-year-old child’s life.

Lisa Vanderpump, best known for her role on Bravo’s “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” expressed that the killing was somehow unjustified. “He did nothing wrong,” she says. The fact that the gorilla dragged the child viciously and almost murdered the child was curiously missing from the well-informed housewife's tweet.

The always-racially charged DL Hughley also dropped his two cents into the Twittersphere, immediately condemning the parents of the child. “If you leave your kid in a car you go to jail, if you let your kid fall into a Gorilla Enclosure u should too!” wrote Hughley.

Animal rights enthusiast and “Big Bang Theory” actress Kaley Cuoco got on her high horse and lamented the death of the gorilla over stupid humans via Instagram: “once again, another senseless horrendous animal being killed over people not using their brains.”

Cuoco describes the animal as “senseless” and “horrendous,” but I think that’s only because she’s essentially illiterate, not practicing cognitive dissonance.

Celebrities never disappoint. And by "never" I mean always.

H/T Hot Air