With America having tired of its foray into the world of whether men with penises ought to pee next to little girls, we’ve moved on to our next symptom of insanity: a deep rumbling of rage at the shooting of a 17-year-old gorilla that could have killed a three-year-old child.
Over the weekend, a mother took her child to the Cincinnati Zoo. She turned her back on the kid for a minute; the kid promptly jumped down into the gorilla enclosure housing Harambe, a 450-lb. Western lowland silverback gorilla. The gorilla promptly dragged the child through water violently before zoo authorities shot it to death.
Now, the zoo had no choice. Zoo director Thane Maynard explained, “The child was being dragged around. His head was banging on concrete. This was not a gentle thing. The child was at risk…So when it was determined that the child was being injured…we had to make a decision.”
Nonetheless, this prompted apoplexy from the left. Here are the five dumbest reactions:
This Is Deeply Important! The hashtag #JusticeForHarambe trended – as though the authorities had done something deeply wrong in defending a small child from the tender mercies of a giant gorilla. A makeshift vigil took place outside the zoo in Cincinnati. Thirty times more stories were written about Harambe than 250 people injured in an airstrike near a hospital in Syria, let alone the 1,000,000 unborn children killed each year in the United States alone.
Here’s the truth: Harambe isn’t that important. Neither was Cecil The Lion.
It’s sad the zoo was forced to kill Harambe; the killing of endangered animals out of necessity is a loss. But Harambe is an animal. He didn’t cure cancer. He didn’t teach kindergarteners (he was trying to kill one when he was shot). He was a gorilla. Let’s stop treating animals as though they’re humans. That’s paganism at its finest, and it leads to the inevitable degradation of the worth of human beings. The anthropomorphism of this crowd – the same people who call their dogs their “four-legged children” – is morally pathetic.
Blame The Zoo. This is the most common response from the left: blame the zoo.
Piers Morgan, whose IQ is slightly lower than that of Harambe, tweeted:
But as the zoo points out, erecting barriers up to specifications is about all you can do and still allow people to see the animals. “The barriers are safe,” said Maynard. “The barriers exceed any required protocols. The trouble with barriers is that whatever the barrier some people can get past it….No, the zoo is not negligent.” This was the first time anybody had fallen into the enclosure since 1978. As WLWT.com describes:
A 15-foot moat separates visitors from the animals, the zoo said. The moat wall is built so gorillas cannot climb it. An electric fence runs around the back of the exhibit. The zoo said workers check the gorilla exhibit every day to make sure debris hasn't fallen across the moat — giving gorillas a way out. National zoo and USDA officials also inspect the exhibit regularly.
They Shouldn’t Have Shot The Gorilla At All! Perhaps the most idiotic response has been people saying that they shouldn’t have shot the gorilla. This comes from two quarters: environmentalists who hate humans and therefore think this gorilla was more important than the three-year-old kid (evil) and media members who have unilaterally declared that the gorilla was trying to protect the kid (dumb). Today, headline after headline declared that Harambe was actually trying to hold hands with the child, or protect him. Yeah, no. Maynard pointed out that Harambe was capable of crushing a coconut in one hand. He also pointed out that Harambe was agitated and upset. As Jack Hanna said, “I agree 1,000 percent they made the right decision. A human being is alive today because of the decision the Cincinnati Zoo made.”
They Should Have Tranquilized The Gorilla! As Maynard said, “I know that after it is over and the child is safe, it’s easy like a Monday morning quarterback to look at it and say, ‘Wow wow wow, don’t we need to do this differently?’ The people that say that – a) don’t understand primate biology and silverback gorillas and the danger the child was in, and b) were not there at an important time to make important decisions." Fact: tranquilizing the gorilla would not have been instantaneous. It just would have ticked off the gorilla while it was already volatile and next to a small child.
Blame The Mother. So, if you don’t like the shooting of the gorilla, blame the parents. That’s what celebrities are doing (h/t Larry O’Connor at HotAir):
If I ever let my toddler fall into a gorilla enclosure please leave the gorilla alone and just shoot me.— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 29, 2016
Parents, you’ve been FUGELSANGED!
If you leave your kid in a car you go to jail, if you let your kid fall into a Gorilla Enclosure u should too! #TeamDl— DL Hughley (@RealDLHughley) May 30, 2016
Taking their eye off the ball, but no child should ever be able to crawl into a gorilla compound. https://t.co/intjxDvUqk— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 29, 2016
It seems that some gorillas make better parents than some people.— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) May 29, 2016
Here’s a parent who actually saw the incident, explaining on Facebook:
Actually, just prior to him going over, but she couldn’t see him crawling through the bushes! She said “He was right here! I took a pic and his hand was in my back pocket and then gone!” As she could find him nowhere, she looks [sic] to my husband (already over the railing talking to the child) and asks, “Sir, is he wearing green shorts? ” My husband reluctantly had to tell her yes, when she then nearly had a break down! They are both wanting to go over into the 15 foot drop, when I forbade my husband to do so, and attempted to calm the mother by calling 911 and assure her help was on the way. Neither my husband or the mother would have made that jump without breaking something!
Another witness apparently heard the mother, who was watching several children, tell the child not to jump into the enclosure repeatedly.
Before we judge the mom here, let’s just say that there isn’t a parent of a toddler alive who hasn’t had an “Oh my God, where’s Billy?” moment. If you turn your back on your child for a solitary second, the child may take off. This isn’t the same scenario as a mother who leaves her child in a car for an hour on a hot day. This is a momentary lapse, presumably.
If we find out differently, the mother should obviously be prosecuted for negligence. But let’s not pretend that parenting is quite as easy as celebrities say it is.
It’s Racist To Kill The Gorilla! Believe it or not, a small cadre of social media users blamed the killing of the gorilla on racism (h/t BizPacReview).
RIP to the gorilla who was just tryna be a gorilla but white people captured him and then other white people wanted to touch him now he dead— Retro Boomin (@CourtneeHendrix) May 29, 2016
That gorilla was taken from it's homeland, put in captivity, and then killed to preserve White life. That sounds familiar.— Isa Ibn (@IsaIbnOfficial) May 29, 2016
One problem: the child in question is black.
In the end, this story is much ado about nothing – but in a society where an ape matters more than a human being, only some lives matter.