How Will We Ever Recover From This Foul Prosperity? [Satire]

The following is satirical.

It’s time for America to take a good long look in the mirror — a very large mirror that can hold an entire country in it — and ask itself, “America, how are you ever going to recover from the disaster of the Trump administration?”

In the aftermath of this tragic detour from our noble history, how will we manage to move past a world in which horrifically deplorable red state troglodytes, some of whom don’t even have the common decency to live in Los Angeles, have actual jobs with rising wages instead of the life of unemployment and despair they so richly deserve?

These, after all, are the kinds of jobs our upstanding scandal-free last president Barack Obama told us were never coming back. How despicable that Trump has undermined America’s faith in the institution of the presidency by making Obama look like an incompetent buffoon.

On top of this, these new jobs could have gone to some needy African child, bringing a few extra pennies an hour into his struggling life. Instead, under Trump, these jobs have been plucked from that child’s hungry little hands by racist white males in some godawful place like Iowa. At least I assume they’re racist white males. I’ve never been to Iowa, but who else would live in a place like that?

Also, many of these new jobs are producing energy through dangerous processes like whatever they do to produce energy. And as we all know, within twelve years, energy production will totally destroy life in our imaginations, though of course real life will continue with its grotesque jet travel and electricity making the world worse for everyone.

But don’t lose hope. Trump can’t stay in office forever. Some time soon, our nation will begin to heal, and return to the days when the cop on the beat could be falsely accused of racism so that riots destroyed black communities and distracted the locals from the crappy economy brought on by leftist policies.

There are great days still ahead.


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