Michelle Obama: I’ve Been Victimized By Sexism – Men Used To Whistle At Me!

Nobody has faced oppression quite like the First Lady of the United States: a girl from Chicago with so much opportunity and freedom that she attended Princeton University and became a lawyer before occupying the White House with her husband.

On Wednesday, after Mrs. Obama’s husband sipped the last of his Pina Colada on the sidelines of a propaganda-laced baseball game in communist Cuba, the couple traveled to Argentina so the First Lady could lament the oppressive sexism she’s faced in the United States (and so her limp-wristed husband could dance the Tango), because men found her attractive. Or something?

Mrs. Obama went-full-on down-with-The-Patriarchy as she complained that men would comment, or even “whistle” at her due to her appealing looks. The First Lady dramatically spiraled: “[A]s if my body were their property, as if I were an object to be commented on instead of a full human being with thoughts and feelings of my own.”

How ever did she make it past flattering, mildly-inappropriate compliments?

Obama also complained that “people had less faith” in her “ability” to reach her goals. For example, teachers would only “call on the boys, even though the girls had better grades.” The First Lady aired another grievance to the group of women hanging on her every word: "People" would supposedly ask her brother what type of career he wanted and ask her what type of man she wanted to marry.

She dramatically continued: “I began to realize that the hopes I had for myself were in conflict with the messages I was receiving from people around me,” said Mrs. Obama. “As a girl by voice was somehow less important, that how my body looked was more important than how my mind worked; that being strong and powerful, and outspoken just wasn’t appropriate or attractive for a girl. And soon enough, I started to question myself: Was I too loud? Too much? Was I too bossy? Was I dreaming too big? And for years I would lie awake at night and those doubts would eat away at my heart, but eventually, I just got tired of always worrying about what everyone else thought of me. So I decided not to listen to the voices of those who doubted or dismissed me. Instead, I decided to listen to my own voice.”

Somebody give her a medal.

As off-putting as Mrs. Obama’s woe-is-me attitude is, the “Let Girls Learn” campaign is actually pretty great. It's designed to help the millions of young girls around the world who face actual oppression, allowing them the opportunity to attend school which they are otherwise tragically denied.

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