It's official: the left has choked out any semblance of humor in the special snowflakes forced to navigate the "safe spaces" and "trigger warning"-plagued dystopia of the modern college campus.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog took his show to the politically correct confines of the University of New Hampshire to try to smack some sense and humor back into the school's dour students. The results are at once hilarious (to anyone above the age of 22, at least) and tragic.
Triumph, voiced by comedian Robert Smigel, tries to see if he can gain some insight into gender identification, trigger warnings, "mansplaining," and hurtful labels from a focus group of vaguely offended students.
"No Democratic contender can win without seeking support of college students, many of whom are aggressively pushing an agenda based on political correctness," he begins.
Having asked a student earlier to define gender identification (which she says can be anything anybody's "soul" tells them they are), Triumph asks one student, "What do you identify as, besides pretentious?"
After getting a helpful definition of "trigger warning" from a student, Triumph turns to the camera to try one of his own out.
"Trigger warning: In this video there will be the clear depiction of a dog pretending to be interested in what a college student is saying," he says, the girl behind him rolling her eyes in offense. "While at the same time making plans to pleasure himself to her at a later time," he adds. The last line does not go over well...
Triumph also inquires about "mansplaining," asking one girl to please "vagsplain" it to him. After she provides her definition (when a man explains something that a woman has just explained and gets all the credit for it), he says he still can't understand the concept, turning to the men for their help in "mansplaining" it to him.
Triumph then asks the girl if he can hump her leg. She says no, to which he replies, "Please understand, I may look like a dog, but I identify as a shin guard."
The most profound moment of the session, however, is when Triumph brings in an obese African-American man who is acting flamboyantly gay. When the man leaves, Triumph asks the students to describe him in such a way that a sketch artist could depict him. They are so paralyzed by political correctness that they can barely bring themselves to offer up any even completely objective descriptions.
"Friendly," "energetic," "outgoing"... Eventually someone is able to actually say that he is "African-American" and "obese."
Yep, the next generation is toast.