Four Places I Don’t Want to Hear About Politics

Good ole normal Americans get that you only talk politics in certain scenarios and around certain people.

I’ve lived in liberal meccas my entire adult life. First Manhattan and now Los Angeles. One unfortunate feature of cosmopolitan life is that politics is pervasive, inescapable. Unlike where I grew up in Oklahoma, there are no places too sacred for politics.

But flyover country understands that there is a time and place to talk politics, and it’s not at your child’s kindergarten orientation. Good ole normal Americans get that you only talk politics in certain scenarios and around certain people. This is apparently a social norm that many leftists have either ignored or their mamas never taught them.

So, for folks in New York, L.A., and San Francisco, here’s a brief guide on where not to talk politics.

1. Church

This may come as a surprise to some progressives, but conservative churches tend to not preach politics. The conservative pastors I’ve known are unlikely to talk politics from the pulpit because they don’t want to ostracize new members and risk driving away people who are seeking salvation.

It’s the “social justice” pastors who beat their congregants over the head with left-wing politics. One time, when my husband and I were at an event at a local mega-church pastor’s home, he visibly wrinkled his nose as he said he couldn’t stand conservative talk radio after I told him what I did for a living. Another time, at a mega-church in Hollywood, the pastor mourned the death of Cecil the Lion, and added, in an unrelated note, that “cops should just stop killing black people.”

This was the same week that the video surfaced of Planned Parenthood selling baby parts.

There are times when it is appropriate to talk politics in church. If there’s a hot topic in the culture that the Bible has a clear opinion on — say abortion, adultery, abstinence — a pastor actually has an obligation to educate his congregants.

But when Cecil the Lion and Black Lives Matter are the Sunday sermon, the religion the pastor is preaching ain’t Christianity.

2. Gym

Seven months ago I gave birth to my second beautiful baby girl. But it destroyed my body and added unwanted pounds. I’ve been going almost daily to spin class and yoga to try to get back in shape. Where do I not want to hear about politics? Spin class and yoga.

Where do I always hear about politics? Spin class and yoga.

I guess I shouldn’t expect things to be different in Los Angeles, but c’mon people, can’t a woman sweat in peace?

I’ve had a yoga teacher say, during class, how grateful she is for Covered California and express gratefulness that GOP lawmakers haven’t been able to take it away, yet. I’ve had a mom tell me, during class, that Jimmy Kimmel’s monologue the other night wasn’t politically correct enough.

Jimmy. Kimmel.

I’ve had a spin teacher open class by saying about the insufferable Parkland student activists, “I really didn’t think the next generation would offer us anything but some of these kids are so brave! They’re making a change! They’re gonna keep us safe!”

I pay these people to get me in shape, not be Rachel Maddow on a stationary bike.

3. School

When I have to endure unwanted political talk, I can handle it. But when my kid is involved, I get upset.

My four-year-old daughter has no interest in politics, nor should she for a long time. She prays to God; she pledges allegiance to the flag; she knows that America is a good place, and that cops and soldiers are the good guys. That’s about it.

But for progressives in the educational system, little kids, starting from preschool and kindergarten, need to be “enlightened.”

Don’t teach my daughter that there aren’t differences between boys and girls. Don’t insert a dumb Kwanzaa carol into your “holiday” parties. And do Easter right. You already include bunnies, eggs, and pastels, and don’t call it a Spring Party.

When I pick up my daughter from school, I don’t roll down my windows and blast The Ben Shapiro Show. I don’t wear a political t-shirt. Hell, I don’t have any bumper stickers on my car. Because they’re dumb.

How about you return the favor and stop wearing your “I’m with her” t-shirts around the school?

It’s been a year-and-a-half. She lost. Get over it.

4. My home

When my husband and I invite you over for a barbecue, or a baby shower, or for drinks, don’t see this kind gesture by us as an opportunity for you to rebuke us for being conservative.

If I bring up politics, it’s fair game. You should be open and honest. But when you inject politics into a nice Sunday afternoon by the pool, you ruin everything.

Don’t ask me an awkwardly loud question about how my famous conservative coworkers are doing. Don’t discuss gun control. Don’t lament tax reform.

When you are a guest in someone else’s home, do not raise politics unless the host started it.

Don’t make it so that when I think of you, I think of uncomfortable political discussions. You don’t want to be that person.

Conclusion: Keep these basic principles in mind when interacting with people on the Right or the Left. And let me know if I missed any places you never want to hear about politics.

 
 
 

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