WARNING: Graphic language contained in this post

Thankfully, Michigan State University is getting academically serious, focusing on vital educational questions, such as, have you "ever gagged on a penis" or "ejaculated on someone's face."

This, we're sure, is super-reassuring news to all the parents shelling out some $30,000 a year for their child's "education."

In a new "College Sex Survey," MSU students were asked intensely personal questions about their past sexual experiences, partially under the pretext of addressing sexual assault. The "optional research study aims to 'learn more about college students’ experiences with sex, sexuality, pornography, relationship violence, and sexual assault,'" according to images of the survey obtained by Campus Reform.

"We are now going to ask you a few questions about your sexual history," sets up the survey, adding that refusal to answer any question is permitted.

"Have you ever experienced any of the following sexual acts?" poses the survey, listing:

Someone ejaculated on your face

You ejaculated on someone's face

You gagged on a penis

Someone gagged on your penis

You kissed someone of the same sex/gender in front of others for their entertainment

You kissed someone of a different sex/gender in front of others for their entertainment

You danced/stripped in front of others for their entertainment

Another question: Have you "'ever engaged in penetrative sex' that involves 'a vibrator or a dildo,' a 'bottle or vegetable,' or 'hands to penetrate a sex partner.'"

That's right, this survey asked students if they've ever been penetrated by a vegetable.

In a statement, MSU claimed the school "does not ever see the data that are collected by researchers via anonymous surveys" they send out to their students.

Additionally, the university framed the survey as a moral good, as a way to better understand student sexuality. "Unfortunately, pornography has become the primary source of sexuality education for youth. We are seeing students who feel pressured to engage in these extreme sexual behaviors. Understanding how prevalent these behaviors are, helps to create sex education programs that help young people to refuse these behaviors if they do not want to engage," said the statement.

MSU's Dr. Megan Maas told Campus Reform the "study is confidential for MSU students only,” adding the university did "not spend any money on this study."

But this, of course, does not explain why this survey was administered to the students by the university in the first place.