While the Associated Press takes itself very seriously as a purveyor of very serious news, at times it's impossible to ignore when its reporters are really enjoying a story. A story that they clearly love is the fallout from President Trump's alleged "sh**holes" comment about various third-world countries sending us immigrants.
On Thursday, The Washington Post reported that Trump "grew frustrated with lawmakers Thursday in the Oval Office when they discussed protecting immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries as part of a bipartisan immigration deal, according to several people briefed on the meeting. ... 'Why are we having all these people from s***hole countries come here?' Trump said, according to these people, referring to countries mentioned by the lawmakers."
After the White House issued a non-denial defense of Trump's attempts to prioritize the interests of American citizens, Trump finally responded to the firestorm on Twitter Friday morning.
"The language used by me at the DACA meeting was tough, but this was not the language used. What was really tough was the outlandish proposal made - a big setback for DACA!" he wrote. "Never said anything derogatory about Haitians other than Haiti is, obviously, a very poor and troubled country. Never said 'take them out.' Made up by Dems. I have a wonderful relationship with Haitians. Probably should record future meetings - unfortunately, no trust!"
Whether or not Trump actually called impoverished nations "sh**holes," AP has been running with the story and collecting every quote they can from every important, and unimportant, person possible on the topic. Since it's Friday, here are the top five unintentionally hilarious quotes presented in AP's over-the-top coverage of Trump's alleged statement:
5. Random Student In Guinea Thinks Trump Would Criticize Himself If He "Was Doubled"
"Donald Trump is an unstable character who would critique his own image if it was doubled," AP quotes Marlyatou Sow, a 32-year-old student in Guinea, as saying. "So, that he considers Africa as sh**, it shows that he doesn't have a heightened vision and that he is nothing less than a businessman who arrived at the White House purely by chance."
4. European Socialist Leader Thinks Trump Doesn't Know How To Engage His Brain Properly
Sounding remarkably similar to Democratic party leaders and their allies in the mainstream media, a socialist group leader from the European Union declared that Trump "has forgotten to engage his brain before talking." AP reports:
Socialist group President Gianni Pittella says that after insulting Mexicans and Muslims "now it is Haiti, El Salvador and African people being targeted by the U.S. president's delirious and racist words."
Pittella says that "every passing day, Trump proves not to be fit to run the U.S. and lead the international community. Insulting, bullying, threatening is the only language Trump knows. It is no longer tolerable."
3. AP Quotes French Government Spokesman's "Silence"
AP tried to get a quote from the French government, but only got "silence," well sort of:
Benjamin Grivaux told reporters after a weekly Cabinet meeting "it's obviously not advisable" to speak the way Trump "reportedly" spoke when he asked why the U.S. would accept more immigrants from Haiti and "s***hole countries" in Africa rather than places like Norway.
He went on to urge political leaders to "keep a correct language especially when we speak about countries that sometimes suffered from bad weather, a great poverty and that are in a great distress."
2. Norwegian Associate Professor: Norwegians "Very Excited" By The Attention, But Hate It Too
AP presents the opinion of a few folks from Norway, whom Trump allegedly praised while slamming Africa and Haiti, including an international studies associate professor, Hilde Restad. Citing their "minority complex," Restad said her fellow Norwegians were probably both "very excited" and not so happy about Trump's comments, or something.
"Norwegians in general have such a minority complex that as long as we are noticed we get very excited," she said. "But in general we are not wanting to be flattered by this U.S. president in this way."
1. Sociologist From West Africa: Trump's Right, Africa Is A 'Sh**hole'!
AP forced itself to actually provide a quote from someone who agreed with Trump, a sociologist from Guinea who said Trump's alleged assessment of the continent was spot on:
"President Donald Trump is absolutely right. Africa is a continent of sh**," says Mamady Traore, a 30-year-old sociologist in the West African nation of Guinea. "When you have heads of state who mess with the constitutions to perpetuate their power. When you have rebel factions that kill children, disembowel women as saints, who mutilate innocent civilians. Frankly, it must be said that it's crap."
For some more fun with the media "sh**storm" over the "sh**holes" comment, check out Gabien's collection of media meltdowns.