Passages are leaking out from Hillary Clinton's forthcoming book, What Happened, about her abortive 2016 Presidential campaign, and it seems the Democratic candidate was less than pleased with her progressive opponent. In fact, Clinton appears to lay much of the blame for her loss squarely at Bernie Sanders's vegan-soled, sustainably shoed feet.
Clinton claims, in a chapter about the primaries, that Sanders caused "lasting damage" by refusing to allow her to sail to the nomination, and that the Vermont progressive paved the way for "(Donald) Trump's 'Crooked Hillary' campaign." And as if that's not enough, Clinton digs in deeper, accusing Sanders of playing dirty politics, knowing that if Hillary fired back, she'd alienate his far-left followers.
Sanders, she says "had to resort to innuendo and impugning my character" because, clearly, she and Bernie "agreed on so much." That would, of course, be news to Bernie and Sanders supporters, who routinely pointed out that Clinton lacked any serious progressive bona fides, and worse, had ties to Wall Street and shady figures within the Democratic establishment.
Of course, Clinton wanted to fight back, but her team reined her in, partly because they were afraid of losing far-left Democrats once Clinton secured the nomination, and party because we're all a bunch of ridiculous sexists who hate women speaking their mind.
"President Obama urged me to grit my teeth and lay off Bernie as much as I could. I felt like I was in a straitjacket." - HRC pic.twitter.com/AAaKCq9DAR— Hillary Warned Us (@HillaryWarnedUs) September 4, 2017
Yep, this is all President Obama's and her team's fault. Just like with Donald Trump and his menacing presence during the town hall-style debate: Clinton wanted to break free of her chains, and confront her misogynistic accusers, perhaps point them out for the Patriarchic shills they really are, but everyone and everything, including the very heart of her campaign team, held her back.
If that weren't enough, Clinton goes on to add insult to injury, claiming that Bernie Sanders had no original ideas of his own, and that during debates, he'd simply repeat the Clinton plan for handling any number of domestic and international policy issues, and simply claim he could do it better, faster, and with more socialism.
A deranged hitchhiker says he's come up with a brilliant plan. Instead of the famous 'eight-minute abs' exercise routine, he's going to market 'seven-minute abs.' It's the same, just quicker. Then the driver, played by Ben Stiller, says, 'Well, why not six-minute abs?' That's what it was like in policy debates with Bernie. We would propose a bold infrastructure investment plan or an ambitious new apprenticeship program for young people, and then Bernie would announce basically the same thing, but bigger. On issue after issue, it was like he kept proposing four-minute abs, or even no-minute abs. Magic abs!
But those sexist Bernie Bros can at least take heart in that Clinton orchestrated her own response to her claims: in There's Something About Mary, the entire point of the "seven minute abs" scene is that no one can actually have "seven minute abs." "Six minute abs" sounds insane, but its just a better way of selling a plan that doesn't work. So in essence, Clinton is really just jabbing Bernie for peddling her same pie-in-the-sky political fantasies and false promises, just with slightly better marketing.
It would be a true shock if this book doesn't end up taking Clinton's career for good.