On Monday, five hundred millennials earned coveted participation trophies from Georgetown Men’s Soccer’s "Millennial Day" match-up with UCLA. The highly merited and deserved trophies were passed out to reward Millennials for their "specialness."
The man behind the important event, Georgetown’s Director of Marketing, Chris Grosse, has masterminded other classic athletic events, like "Dad Bod Day," and "Hail To Kale Night." He released the following statement in early August, hyping up his latest spectacle:
At #MillennialDay, you can expect only the most #awesome giveaways (because millennials expect everything to be free) and the most hella cool activities. So that everyone feels welcome at Shaw Field, a #dabbing safe space will be roped off, as well as a halftime naptime break if you ~can’t even~ stay awake for the whole game.
So far so good. Free stuff? Check. Safe spaces? Check. I’m a little surprised by the halftime nap suggestion. Doesn’t Grosse know how "woke" we millennials are?
If you’re #thirsty, enter the raffle for a DC area juice gift card. As long as you’re like, basically on time for the game, you will be greeted with not only words of praise but also a PARTICIPATION TROPHY because all #millennials are #special. And for all your social media needs, our mascot, Jack the Bulldog, will be available to take some #Kardashianworthy pregame selfies.
Perfect. Honestly, what more can you expect from a person than being "basically on time"?
BTW, don’t even worry about #awk social interactions during the game--in the #MillennialCommunicationSection, all verbal conversation will be prohibited. Communication will go directly through your smartphone.
Because… talking is hard.
Since #millennials are #ambitious, tickets will be FREE for attendees who have held at least three jobs in the last three years, and have these jobs listed on their LinkedIn profiles.
Funny, right? I thought so too, but I was perplexed by Georgetown University, a traditionally left leaning school, openly poking fun at a demographic that makes up almost the entirety of its student body. Is teasing your audience really the best way to get butts in seats?
The Washington Post cleared up the confusion, however, with a quote from Grosse, who said, "We decided we could come up with something that would be clever and funny, kind of honoring millennials, but also poking fun at some of the stereotypes that I think are incorrect."
Ahhh… So Grosse, who is a millennial himself, wasn’t poking fun at his generation at all. He was "honoring" his compatriots, all the while jabbing at anyone who (rightfully) believes that millennial stereotypes of expectancy, poor work ethic, and inability to function in the real world, have any basis in reality.
Perhaps from the perspective of the students who spend their days in Georgetown’s collegiate echo chamber, the laugh was on us. But the rest of America just saw a marketing director dropping serious truth bombs.
By the way, at the end of the day, Georgetown won the soccer match, beating 15th ranked UCLA 1-0. A heroic ending to a participatory kind of day. Yah millennials!
Tyler Dahnke is a father, husband and wine enthusiast who's doing his best to make sense of today's insane political landscape. You can follow him on Twitter @tylerdahnke.