Over 9,000 people have signed a petition calling on the mayor of Portsmouth, Virginia, to replace a Confederate monument with a statue of rapper Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott, who was born in the city in 1971.

"We believe it is time to finally replace the Confederate Monument in Olde Towne Portsmouth Virginia near the intersection of Court and High streets with a new statue of a true Portsmouth native hero," writes petition author Nathan Coflin.

"Who better to encapsulate the culture and spirit of the city enshrined in a new monument than Grammy Award winning rapper, dancer, and record producer Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliott?" he asks.

How about replacing the monument with one of Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall? Or civil rights icons Rosa Parks or Martin Luther King, Jr.? Or anyone from this list of African American trailblazers from Virginia?


"Hailing from humble beginnings as the only child of a power company dispatcher and a welder at Portsmouth's lauded naval shipyard, she rose to become a platinum recording artist with over 30-million albums sold. All this without even once owning a slave," continues the petition.

"Together we can put white supremacy down, flip it and reverse it," quips Coflin, paraphrasing Elliott's late-90s hip-hop hit, "Work It."

"Missy is all of us," it says. "Missy is everything the Confederacy was not."

Since it's impossible to tell parody from reality in 2017, it remains unclear if Coflin is being facetious in his call to erect a statue of Elliott, or if this is the next plateau of true wokeness. (Really, it could go either way.)

Since the fatally violent clash of Antifa and neo-Nazis in Charlottesville last weekend, the nation has been consumed in a contentious debate over the existence of Confederate monuments and statues. While Democratic politicians and fringe leftists have called for government leaders to scrub their cities of any historical reference or monument linked to the Confederacy or slavery, a majority of the American people — 62% — think our history should stay put, according to an NPR, PBS NewsHour, and Marist Poll.