On Tuesday, Vox.com, the official outlet for people so stupid that they desperately need explainers by ignorant leftists, unleashed perhaps the most idiotic tweet of all time:
Rogue One is the first Star Wars movie to acknowledge the whole franchise is about war https://t.co/Wz6sAaiaDb— Vox (@voxdotcom) December 13, 2016
The franchise is not called “Star Peace.” It is called “Star Wars.” In Episode IV, the Rebel Alliance blows up a massive machine that destroys an entire planet. In Episode V, the Rebel Alliance battles the Empire on an icy planet. In Episode VI, a bunch of teddy bears go to war with Stormtroopers on a forest moon; simultaneously, Rebel Alliance pilots blow up another Death Star. Episodes I-III do not count as part of the Star Wars canon, but Episode I contains a battle against a Federation droid army, Episode II revolved around the Clone Wars (a war involving clones), and Episode III involves multiple battles. The recent Episode VII revolves around the New Republic fighting a war with the First Order, which has developed – you guessed it – a new Death Star.
To put it mildly, there’s no shortage of war in Star Wars. In fact, you might sum up Star Wars as Bill Murray once did:
Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars
Give me those Star Wars, don’t let them end
Star Wars, if they should bar wars
Please let these Star Wars
And hey how about that nutty Star Wars bar
Can you forget the creatures in there
And hey, Darth Vader in the black and evil mask
Did he scare you as much as he scared me
Indeed, we don’t want the Star Wars to end. Neverending war. Forever.
So what exactly tipped off the brilliant editors at Vox that Star Wars includes, you know, wars? The linked article explained in more detail:
The unifying theme of Rogue One is simple: People die in wars. If the Star Wars saga is about a war between freedom and tyranny, then a lot of people are going to die fighting that war. Those on the side of good are going to make questionable decisions. Those on the side of evil are sometimes just doing their jobs but will get their lives snuffed out anyway.
Oh, as opposed to say, Obi Wan Kenobi. Or, say, Luke’s aunt and uncle. Or, say, Dak in The Empire Strikes Back. Or SPOILER ALERT Han Solo. Or countless other characters in the Star Wars universe prior to now.
The author also thinks that images of fascism first call to mind the American occupation of Iraq – as opposed to, say, every occupation by a fascist country ranging from the Nazis to the Soviets. But hey, at least we’ve cleared up the real misnomer: there are wars in Star Wars.
In other news, the main character in Superman is super, and also a man. In Titanic, a big boat called the Titanic sinks. And in The English Patient, there is an English patient, sort of (also, nothing happens and the movie is terrible).
There’s your moviesplainer.