Feminists’ adversarial stance to motherhood is no secret. Women who find purpose in motherhood are often shamed by feminists; dissidents regarding on-demand abortion are labeled internalized misogynists; and stay-at-home mothers are mocked. Motherhood, which is predicated on sexist biology, is not something to be celebrated, but to be hostile to, according to those who confuse sameness for equality.
In the left’s latest attempt to mar motherhood, Elle Magazine profiled women who openly discuss their children as “regrets;” such women being famed as brave trailblazers, of course.
Charming ladies, really.
According to the feminist publication, this is a “growing movement,” which was started by Corinne Maier, a French psychoanalyst and writer who resides in Brussels. Maier has two children whom she openly regrets so much so that she wrote a book about it, titled: “No Kids: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children.”
Another trailblazer in the regret-your-children camp is Isabella Dutton, a woman from the UK who told The Daily Mail that having her two children was the biggest regret of her life. “I know my life would have been much happier and more fulfilled without children,” proclaimed Dutton.
But beyond the authors turning a pretty penny and publicity seekers telling the world they regret their own children–which must be a lovely experience for their children–there are other women being celebrated for vocalizing their hatred for motherhood, too.
Meet Laura, whose name was changed for reasons of anonymity. She’s a 37-year-old LA-based journalist with one son whom she regrets ever bringing into this world. “You can’t take the decision back,” she told Elle.
“Laura got pregnant easily. But once her son was born, she was overwhelmed and frustrated, prone to lengthy crying jags, and consumed by boredom and dissatisfaction,” notes Elle.
“The regret hit me when the grandmas went home and my husband went back to the office and I was on my own with him,” said Laura. “I realized that this was my life now—and it was unbearable.”
“I hated, hated, hated the situation I found myself in,” she continued. “I think the word for what I felt is ‘trapped.’ After I had a kid, I realized I hated being the mother to an infant, but by then it was too late. I couldn’t walk away and still live with myself, but I also couldn’t stand it. I felt like my life was basically a middle-class prison.”
Then there’s Ananya, a 38-year-old freelance writer who divides her time between Singapore and the Unites States:
“Would I have written my second or third book? Would I be able to travel to chase that elusive story? I feel motherhood has slowed me down so much.” She envies friends not for their spontaneous vacations and naps, but for the time and space they have to think. “I hold a lot of data in my head,” Ananya says of constantly keeping on top of all the details that go with small children: doctor’s appointments, weight, height, most recent allergies, toys they want, foods they will eat. “I long for a life without this mental clutter,” she explains.
Then comes the overt abortion pitch from Elle. A woman named Carrie was “pressured” into having her child and not murdering the baby in the womb. If only Carrie could have killed that unborn baby, she would be so much happier now:
Of course, not every mother gets to decide when to become one. Carrie, an American living in Mexico, married when she was 22 and got pregnant while on the pill. “I was devastated,” she says. Talking about that time, and how it felt, is still hard today. “I wanted university, travel, and more of my own life before a child entered it.” Carrie was pressured by her mother-in-law, among other family, to keep the baby, despite her desire for an abortion and then, later, adoption. “I was surrounded by people who adamantly opposed my choices, so in some way I felt I had no choice at all.” Carrie and her husband split up soon after she gave birth, leaving her to raise their daughter alone. Suddenly she was the sole provider for a child she never actually wanted in the first place.
As noted by Elle, other women are turning to social media outlets to complain about their children’s existence, such as the Facebook page fittingly called “I Regret Having Children.”
I wonder if Elle would ever feature mothers who regret their abortions? Or perhaps a story on women who find purpose in motherhood? Probably not.