It is bad enough when Hollywood decides to remake an iconic film that already hit the bullseye ("Total Recall," "Red Dawn," "Psycho," etc.), but it is something entirely different when Tinseltown grabs hold of your childhood and gang rapes it with a left-wing political agenda. We expect leftist messages from the failing genre of small independent films. To have our beloved "Ghostbusters" and "Star Trek" gang raped is simply beyond the pale.
The idea of remaking and Universe-ing "Ghostbusters" is stupid to begin with. While the concept is genius, it is also too narrow to Universe. Four smart alecks fight CGI in a Big City. All you can do is repeat that formula to creative returns that diminish each and every time (see: II, Ghostbusters).
Hollywood has to make a living. No one can begrudge them that or their doing so through a still-popular and iconic brand.
But why ruin it with four unattractive and not-terribly-funny feminists? Had Hollywood made "Ghostbusters With Chicks" in the eighties, it would have had Vanity, Demi Moore, Phoebe Cates, and Apollonia busting ghosts in bikinis -- and it would have been awesome. Other than the chubby one from "Bridesmaids," I don't even recognize the other three in this upcoming remake. I just know that every time they open their obnoxious and ignorant mouths men everywhere are having First-Wife Flashbacks.
Worse still, according to the reviews and the widely derided trailers, this "Ghostbusters" Has Something To Say. This "Ghostbusters" Has A Message To Send.
Oh, joy, for two hours we get to watch four unattractive Social Justice Warriors tell us about The Feminism.
Because that's what summer movies are supposed to be all about.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with strong women. I'm married to one. There is nothing wrong with strong women fighting for what they believe in. We all know, though, that Hollywood's idea of feminism is not about that. Just try to be a woman who fights against abortion and for home-schooling and see how much love you get in the 90210 zip code.
Overall, and we all know deep down this is true, the only point left-wing feminists make is that they truly believe men indeed are superior to women. If you think I'm full of it, riddle me this: If left-wing feminists don't believe men are superior, Why Do They Keep Acting Like Men?
And it is not just that left-wing feminists believe men are superior to women, it is that left-wing feminists believe Sexist Macho Men are superior to women. Think about it: who is it that left-wing feminists always try to emulate? With their raunchy comedies, violent movies, and whoring around it is Sexist Macho Men.
Anyway, in case you haven't heard, an alternate universe made Sulu a homosexual.
Yes, according to the upcoming "Star Trek Beyond" (another big-budget franchise entry with terrible trailers), the act of passing through to an alternate universe means that Hikaru Sulu, one of the most beloved and established characters in science fiction, is now attracted to men.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with adding gay characters to the "Star Trek" universe. In fact, it makes sense. But it is absolutely reprehensible to take (and this is what the Gay Left always does: takes) a beloved and established character and use him as a publicity stunt and Social Justice Trophy.
The fact that George Takei, the actor who created and portrayed Sulu for 40 freakin' years, is himself a left-wing homosexual activist and adamantly opposed to this, should be the final word. In fact, Takei opposed and protested against the decision before it was finalized. His wishes were completely ignored.
Sulu is a heterosexual. Sulu was portrayed as a heterosexual. In the classic episode "Mirror, Mirror," Sulu remained a heterosexual even in an alternate universe.
The decision to make Sulu gay is not about furthering gay rights or creating a more realistic "Star Trek" universe. It is about the Left telling the world: "Now that we have the power, we are going to shit all over everything you hold dear."
Regardless, now that Americans know that these franchise entries are more interested in preaching than entertaining, now that we know we will betrayed in our desire to enjoy a two-hour mind-vacation in the air-conditioned dark, it should be interesting to see the effects at the box office.
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC