Trump Pushed His Failed Businesses Last Night. And Lied About Them.

On Tuesday night, Lyin’ Donald was up to his old tricks again.

Yup, the infomercial salesman with a vocabulary of less than 50 words, most of which consist of hyperbolic (that means exaggerated, Donald) terms (that means words, Donald) such as “amazing, awesome, fabulous, incredible, magnificent and terrific,” went on the lyin’ warpath to defend himself from charges (that means bad things said about you, Donald) that his claims of the success of his business ventures (that means businesses you tried to start) were either exaggerated or false (that means untrue.)

Trump’s triumphant press conference was all set up with items looking like Trump-branded products on either side of his podium. Some examples: Trump red, white and rose wine; Trump water; and “Trump Steaks.”

Trump began by bloviating (that means to speak windily, Donald) of the reason for the cache of Trump items, saying, “I brought some things up because, he said, ‘Water company is gone.’ I said, ‘It is?’ I didn’t know that.” Trump was apparently referring to Mitt Romney’s denunciation of him (Denunciation means someone saying bad thing about you, Donald. Bad.)

Romney had said, “Whatever happened to Trump Airlines? How about Trump University? And then there’s Trump Magazine and Trump Vodka and Trump Steaks, and Trump Mortgage? A business genius he is not.” Romney never mentioned Trump’s defunct bottled water company, Trump Ice, but Trump insisted on pointing to some cases of Trump-branded “Natural Spring Water,” bottles, and blustered, (that means to speak with little effect, Mr. High IQ who has trouble spelling small words), “He talked about the water company. Well, there’s the water company. I mean, we sell water. And we have water, and it’s a very successful, you know, it’s a private little water company, and I supply the water for all my places, and it’s good. But it’s very good.”

One problem:

More fibbing: Trump bellowed, “Trump steaks, where are the steaks? Do we have the steaks? We have Trump steaks. And by the way, you want to take one, we charge you about, what, 50 bucks a steak?”

Whoops. Trump Steaks went out of business years ago; they had ben sold by The Sharper Image stores in 2007. But now the company’s website reads, “Unfortunately, Trump Steaks are no longer available, but their legacy endures. And, whether you think Donald Trump’s candidacy is real steak or just sizzle, we hope you’ll enjoy this blast from the past.”

Ironically, the labels on the steaks displayed looked like they were made by a company called Bush Brothers, which apparently is the name of the butcher that supplies the club where Trump spoke.

And even more: Trump mentioned Romney claiming Trump Vodka had failed. Trump whined, "He mentioned Trump Vodka.” Whoops, discontinued in 2011.

Romney also cited Trump Magazine as a failure; Trump responded, "I thought I read one two days ago," then held up a magazine and raved, "This comes out and it's called The Jewel of Palm Beach and it all goes to all of my clubs. I have had it for many years. It's the magazine. It's great. Anybody want one?"

Whoops again; Trump Magazine folded in 2009.

"We have Trump steaks."

Well, no.

The incessant (that means over and over, Donald) lying of lyin’ Donald continues.

It just makes you wonder what’s under the plenitudinous (that means lots and lots) tresses (that means hair) on the shyster’s (you probably know that one, Donald) head.

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