In what can only be described as the single most riveting interview ever given by a White House staffer, brand new White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci offloaded his thoughts to Ryan Lizza of The New Yorker in an on-the-record, taped phone call on Wednesday night. The thoughts were plentiful and colorful. Even more colorful than his call-in interview with CNN this morning, in which he suggested that White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus was a leaker.

The interview began with Scaramucci threatening to fire everyone on the White House communications staff after Lizza asked about President Trump meeting with former Fox News executive Bill Shine. It got crazier from there. “I ask these guys not to leak anything and they can’t help themselves,” The Mooch explained. “You’re an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country. So I’m asking you as an American patriot to give me a sense of who leaked it.” When Lizza demurred, The Mooch stated, “OK, I’m going to fire every one of them, and then you haven’t protected anybody, so the entire place will be fired over the next two weeks.”

Then The Mooch got really angry:

They’ll all be fired by me. I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I’ll fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Reince Priebus — if you want to leak something — he’ll be asked to resign very shortly. … Reince is a f***ing paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac. [In Reince’s voice] "Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the f***ing thing and see if I can c***-block these people the way I c***-blocked Scaramucci for six months."

Continuing his rant, Scaramucci took on the release of his public disclosure forms — which were publicly available, but which Scaramucci attributed to Reince’s leaks. “I’ve called the FBI and the Department of Justice. The swamp will not defeat him. They’re trying to resist me, but it’s not going to work. I’ve done nothing wrong on my financial disclosures, so they’re going to have to go f*** themselves.”

Then it got truly nuts: Scaramucci tried to claim that he has no interest in being in the public eye. “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own c***. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the f***ing strength of the president. I’m here to serve the country.” The Mooch then went off on Priebus again, and explained that he had told Trump that Priebus would try to hit him through leaks.

He continued:

What I want to do is I want to f***ing kill all the leakers and I want to get the President’s agenda on track so we can succeed for the American people. ... O.K., the Mooch showed up a week ago,” he said. “This is going to get cleaned up very shortly, O.K.? Because I nailed these guys. I’ve got digital fingerprints on everything they’ve done through the F.B.I. and the fucking Department of Justice. ... Well, the felony, they’re gonna get prosecuted, probably, for the felony.

Which felony? Nobody knows.

Scaramucci then told Lizza, “Yeah, let me go, though, because I’ve gotta start tweeting some s*** to make this guy crazy.” Minutes later, he sent the tweet that implied that Priebus was leaking from the White House.

So, all this is going well.

Just wait until tomorrow's episode!