The Simpsons, famous for decades for mocking the political right, had a strange metamorphosis this week, mocking social justice warriors with a segment depicting a donor who visits Yale University and is confronted by the world of political correctness.
The segment started with the elderly donor accompanied by two interviewers, one male and one female, as they strolled through the university campus. The segment went like this:
Male interviewer (MI): It’s always wonderful when a successful –
Female interviewer (FI): And childless –
MI: Alumnus returns.
Donor: It’s delightful when you take turns, sniffing after my money.
Donor: I am here to offer you money; I’d like to endow a department of nuclear plant management.
MI: Wonderful. Of course, we can’t do nuclear –
FI: Our students are highly-entitled wusses.
MI: You’d be creating a space for violence to happen. Hmm. How about funding a chair in the non-narrative cinema of self-identified pansexuals?
Donor: What? What? What? What? What?
FI: We also need to hire more deans to decide which Halloween costumes are appropriate.
MI: Eight deans should do it.
Donor: Is this still a coven of capitalism, where evil money can acquire a patina of virtue?
MI: Yes. That’s in our charter.
FI: But with an issue as hetero-patriarchal as nuclear power, we’ll have to hire multi-cultural empathizers, build a new safe space –
A student squash team approaches.
Student: Not so fast. We insist on a chair of anti-nuclear studies and a nuclear-neutral curriculum pathway.
MI: Absolutely, Teddy. (To donor) We run all decisions past the squash team.
Donor: What’s happened to this place. (He spots signs reading, “Eli Yale was a profiteering slave trader.” “Shakespeare is murder.” “Take swords off statues.”) This is the home of ruthless media disruptor Samuel F. B. Morse. Who is his successor? (pointing to squash team student) That fellow?
Student: Fellow? That word is cis-gender normative, okay? You’re worse than Hitler!
Donor: Too late for flattery. I’m not giving this school a dime.