Time magazine released their Time 100 list on Thursday. Some names were expected, like Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner; however, there were a number of people whose inclusion and accompanying profiles were simply ridiculous beyond parody.
Here are six of the most ridiculous profiles in the Time 100 list.
1. Colin Kaepernick. Jim Harbaugh, who coached Kaepernick as the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers from 2011 to 2014, praised his former protege for how "he boldly and courageously confronted perceived inequalities in our social-justice system by refusing to stand for the national anthem."
"Rather than besmirch their character, we must celebrate their act," the eccentric Michigan head coach wrote. "For we cannot pioneer and invent if we are fearful of deviating from the norm, damaging our public perception or — most important — harming our own personal interests."
Harbaugh called Kaepernick "an outstanding player and trusted teammate" and praised the washed up quarterback for sticking to his principles despite the backlash he received.
"How lucky for us all and for our country to have among our citizens someone as remarkable as Colin Kaepernick," Harbaugh concluded.
This is a stark turnaround from August, when Harbaugh originally said he didn't "respect the motivation or the action" behind Kaepernick's stance of not standing during the national anthem, although he did later clarify that he respected the motivation but not the action.
Perhaps Harbaugh still feels attached to the quarterback he drafted and groomed, but the only thing Kaepernick influenced by his stance was for football teams not to sign him as a free agent. Once Kaepernick was officially out of a job, he "boldly and courageously" announced that he was not going to continue his public protest of America. How convenient.
2. Samantha Bee. Jane Curtin gushed over Bee for giving a "voice to all the women who have wanted to take on the political establishment — women like me."
"She has the courage and the ability to plant those little feet, lean just slightly into the camera and fire off a staggering spray of machine-gun bullet points laced with delicious asides for color," Curtin said. "She is as smart as a whip and, as far as I'm concerned, always on the side of right and funny. Did I say she was smart? Because she really is."
It's odd for Curtin to say that Bee is attacking "the political establishment" when Bee is adored by the liberal elite that is the core of the establishment. Bee's rants also tend to be lacking in humor and are "vile and inaccurate."
3. James Comey. Here's what Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) wrote about Comey:
Integrity is a word that doesn't get used a lot in Washington anymore. But that is the quality that has defined James Comey's service to our nation. We saw it when he was a federal prosecutor who took on terrorists, mobsters and corporate fraudsters. We saw it when he stood on principle against members of the Administration in which he served, even when it might have cost him his job. And we saw it during one of the most extraordinary elections in our history, in which he confronted circumstances unlike those faced by any of his predecessors, when FBI Director Comey followed the law, spoke the truth and did what he believed was right.
Shifting political winds have blown criticism James Comey's way from different partisan directions. But his independence has never faltered. His integrity has never wavered. And I know that in the pursuit of justice, it never will.
Except that Comey decided not to recommend an indictment against Hillary Clinton even though she clearly broke the law with her private email server. The only reason Comey announced that he was re-opening the investigation into Clinton was because he would have opened himself to perjury charges. Comey also kept the investigation of Trump and Russia a secret, which "could have far-reaching repercussions," according to The Washington Examiner's Byron York. Comey is clearly a man who has allowed politics and optics to dictate his actions at crucial moments.
4. Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass). Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), who frequently is a subject of Elliott Hamilton's weekly Moron Alert column – and for good reason – fawned over Warren for smearing Attorney General Jeff Sessions as a racist through reading a letter by Coretta Scott King, Martin Luther King, Jr.'s widow. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell silenced her by invoking a rule that prevents senators from personally attacking each other, a necessary move to prevent the governing body from descending into parliamentary fistfighting.
And yet, Harris considers Warren's actions an act of courage:
I first met Elizabeth after the 2008 housing crisis, when we battled the big banks and mortgage lenders together. I witnessed a fierce and fearless fighter, the same progressive champion who oversaw the $700 billion bank rescue and fought to create a consumer-protection agency. Today I'm honored to serve alongside her in the Senate.
In these tough times, Elizabeth Warren persists. And America's hardworking families are lucky that she does.
5. Janet Yellen. Economist Joseph Stiglitz praises Yellen for bringing "an expertise in these aspects of economics based on a deep theoretical grounding obtained at Yale" to the Federal Reserve as the institution's chairwoman; he also praises her for focusing on "inequality" as the Fed's chairwoman.
"Her biggest challenge may be going forward, with Trump proposing large budget deficits in an economy that many members of the Fed already believe is close to full employment," Stiglitz writes. "In a highly politicized environment marked by extreme uncertainty, the nation needs the calm hand, expertise and wisdom of a devoted public servant like Janet Yellen."
Actually, the Fed's job isn't to focus on inequality; it's supposed to keep the dollar stable. Yellen has continued the policies of her predecessor, Ben Bernanke, setting the Fed up for a massive exit problem that is going to wreak havoc upon the economy.
6. Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.). Schumer's odious predecessor, Harry Reid, had the following to say about Schumer:
Over the past few years, the only person I have talked to more than Senator Chuck Schumer is my wife Landra. Yet Schumer and I had to make a rule: no phone calls after 10 p.m. Through it all, Schumer and I became very close. He is a good man, and no one is more prepared to lead Senate Democrats through this difficult time than he.
Everyone knows he has a sharp mind for politics, but he is also a deeply principled man who will stand strong for Democratic values. He became a leader under much different circumstances than he imagined, but there is a reason for everything.
The times we live in shape us in ways we never could have imagined. If there is one guarantee about being Senate leader, it's that it is a completely unpredictable job. But whatever lies ahead, I have enormous faith in Schumer, and I am confident that he is the right man for this moment.